


A Better Love Story Than Twilight

by TRASHCAKE



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cute, Liberal usage of the word Bro, M/M, Misunderstandings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vietnamese Translation Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRASHCAKE/pseuds/TRASHCAKE
Summary: Google search: How do you politely ask if someone is a vampire?





	A Better Love Story Than Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> Is this meme format dead yet?
> 
> Read this fic in [Vietnamese!](https://www.wattpad.com/733901234-trans-noren-twilight-%C4%91%C3%A0o-%C4%91%C3%A2u-ra-m%E1%BB%91i-t%C3%ACnh-d%E1%BB%85)

Night fill. Not the most glamorous job but it pays well and there are definitely enough hours to go around. Jeno works with the same crew every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night, a group of university students like himself. They all seem to be introverts, only speaking when they need to speak or when spoken to. 

“Can you unpack this for me?” asks Renjun, like clockwork. He’s in charge of the Fresh Produce section, while Jeno stacks shelves of meat nearby. Every time he’s asked to unload a new pallet of garlic, he gets Jeno to do it, instead. 

“Alright,” Jeno agrees, as per usual. “Why though?” 

He’s never asked before, always chalking it up to weird night fillers being weird. God knows they all have their quirks and habits. Like Jeno, who now finds the sight of raw chicken uncomfortable for some reason. Staring at it for hours on end has done something to him. 

“I’m allergic,” he replies, simply. “I can’t touch it because I’ll break out in hives.” 

“Gloves are a thing?” 

“I need full body PPE to touch garlic, unfortunately.” Renjun sighs. “Look, can you do it or not?” 

Jeno looks at his stack of meat and back at Renjun. Whom, Jeno notices, already has quite the bit of contact dermatitis around his wrist and on his earlobes. He’s pale, too, eyes shining almost red in the light of the store. 

Wait a second. 

“You don’t happen to be allergic to jewelry, too?” Jeno points to the red marks on his arms, the painful looking sores on his earlobes. “Like, silver or something?” 

“Yeah,” Renjun itches absentmindedly at the rash on his wrist. “How’d you know?” 

“Lucky guess,” Jeno mumbles,“anemic, too?”

“What are you, a med student?” Renjun rolls his eyes. 

“Physiotherapy.” 

“Ah,” Renjun hums in understanding. “But yeah, I’m anemic.” 

“Thought so.” 

“You done with the interrogation?” Renjun huffs, before gesturing to his garlic. “Because these really need to go out and I _really_ can’t touch them.” 

“I got you, don’t worry,” Jeno assures him. Unloading Renjun’s garlic pallet is always a nice break from staring at chicken. And the few minutes of company he gets out of it is a good way to break up the monotony of his work. 

“Good,” Renjun smiles, walks away, starts unpacking his watermelon. 

Jeno sighs, regretting that he’s going home smelling like garlic for the upteenth week in a row. 

The things he does for cute boys, honestly. 

\------

Now, Jeno isn’t one for tinfoil hat theories and conspiracies. He doesn’t _really_ believe in the supernatural. But Renjun ticks a lot of boxes in his sleep-deprived mind, and that’s what brings Jeno to the weird part of the internet. 

The very weird part. 

Parts that believe not only that vampires are real, but that they’re living amongst humans. According to the weirdos on the internet, Renjun has all the common characteristics of a vampire and it’s got Jeno thinking. 

He’s pale, he’s allergic to garlic and silver. In the work change rooms, he’s always in and out quickly, not even glancing at his reflection. 

Is that because he doesn’t have one? 

They finish work in the early hours of the morning, just before the store opens. The sun has risen, but Renjun, no matter the weather, is always dressed in long sleeved shirts, carrying an umbrella. 

Things start to add up. 

He’s not entirely sure that Renjun is the type to sleep in a coffin filled with dirt, but maybe modern vampires are different? And while he’s got no solid proof of his shapeshifting abilities, there have been a few occurrences of Renjun leaving discarded fruit outside for the bats. 

Bonding with his kin, perhaps?

It should be terrifying, the information that Jeno has. A real life vampire at his work. A creature of the night stacking shelves as his night job. What does Renjun even _do_ during the day? Sleep? Hunt? How does he get his food? 

Jeno really wants to know. 

\------

“So,” he starts, trying to make small talk as Renjun unpacks his potatoes. “What do you think of Twilight?” 

Renjun pauses for a moment before answering. “The film?” he asks. Jeno nods. “It’s bullshit.” 

“Because of the vampires, right?” Jeno pushes, trying to subtly hint that He Knows. “ _Real_ vampires don’t sparkle in the sun.” 

“I guess,” Renjun shrugs, “I was talking more about the love story. If you could call it that.” 

And so, it turns out that Renjun is a romantic vampire. He appreciates the modern interpretation of his people, but doesn’t like the way they’re portrayed as possessive and obsessed. Renjun’s eyes are fiery as he rants, emotional and passionate. 

He’s so damn _cute_.

“Say what you will,” Jeno supplies as Renjun finishes picking apart the romantic plotline of the Twilight series. “I think vampires are _hot_.” 

Jeno makes sure to wiggle his eyebrows at Renjun. 

He’s flirting with a vampire.

“Alright, noted,” Renjun sighs, eyeing Jeno warily. 

“Seriously,” Jeno pushes, “if I could date one supernatural being, it would definitely be a vampire.”

“If I ever come across one, I’ll let you know,” Renjun replies with a wink. 

That’s enough confirmation for Jeno. 

Renjun is a vampire.

And he’s really cute.

\------

Jaemin is an alright best friend, as far as best friends go. He’s studying physiotherapy too, but he’s got a retail job like normal university students. Between his clothing allowance and the free food Jeno gets from work on occasion, they’re both making their way through their course a little less broke than they should be. 

“You have a what on a what?” Jaemin chokes on his coffee. 

“A crush on a vampire,” Jeno repeats meekly. “He’s so cute, Jaemin, he feeds the bats at work.” 

“Have you ever considered,” Jaemin says slowly, “that he’s not actually a vampire and that he’s just a nice dude who feeds bats?” 

“He’s anemic and allergic to both silver and garlic,” Jeno takes a sip of his own coffee, adamant with his points. “I swear his eyes were red last week, too.” 

“Isn’t your store filled with red lights, though?” Jaemin rubs at his temples. “Look, you’ve found a cute guy with allergies, who feeds bats and you stare into his eyes often enough to see the store lights reflected in them.” 

“That’s not---” 

“It is,” Jaemin sighs, “vampires aren’t real, Jeno.” 

“Then how do you explain _that_ ,” Jeno points out the window, gesturing to a most peculiar sight. “It’s him.”

Renjun, umbrella up, carrying bags of blood. Like, medical bags of blood. The ones used in blood donation. One of them seems to be leaking, so Renjun looks around before bringing the stained finger to his mouth, licking it clean. 

“What the actual fuck,” Jaemin exclaims, “he’s a vampire.” 

“And he’s cute,” Jeno sighs. 

“But he’s a vampire?” 

“But he’s cute?” 

“He could kill you?” 

“I kinda want him to?” 

“Gross,” Jaemin sniffs, “but also: mood. I’d rather be killed by a vampire than by anatomy exams.” 

Jeno groans, remembering why they’re at the cafe in the first place. Classes are hard and they’re supposed to be studying for their exam the following week. 

“So,” he says, pointing to his textbook, “the metatarsal bones are---” 

Cute vampires can wait. 

Jeno has classes to pass. 

\------

Renjun, as it turns out, is very fun to be around. He’s sweet, yet snarky. Filled with interesting opinions on everything. Jeno really enjoys talking to him. His little quirks are endearing, his laughter brightening Jeno’s day. 

The list of things he can neither eat, nor touch, is as long as Jeno’s whole arm, size ten font. Apparently, he has to take special enzymes in order to properly digest the few foods not included on his list. Just another little thing about Renjun that Jeno finds interesting. 

And despite all his weird allergies, Renjun seems, well, _human_. 

“How’d you find out about your garlic allergy?” Jeno asks as he stacks containers of chicken into the refrigerator. Looking at it still makes him feel uncomfortable. 

“Threw up after eating garlic bread,” Renjun shrugs, “what’s the deal with the chicken?” 

“It’s creepy looking,” Jeno shudders for emphasis, picks up another tray of chicken breast and waves it under Renjun’s nose. He goes slightly cross eyed in his attempt to follow the movement.

“It looks like chicken,” Renjun points out. “Man, your phobias are as weird as my allergies.” 

“Don’t get me started on phobias,” Jeno replies. 

“I’m starting you.” 

“Claymation.” 

“Come again?” Renjun snickers, “you’re scared of animated clay?” 

“Terrified,” Jeno admits. It’s not something he likes to talk about, but he trusts Renjun. They know each other’s biggest secrets, now. 

“So if I asked you to come over and watch Wallace and Gromit?” 

“I’d politely decline,” Jeno says, very seriously. “Or, because I’d love to hang out with you, maybe I’d put up with it?” 

“You could always suggest something else to watch?” Renjun laughs. 

“Or I could do that.” 

“So,” Renjun steps closer, places a hand on Jeno’s bicep. “Wanna hang out? We don’t have to watch anything you don’t want to.” 

“Your presence in a Claymation-free environment?” Jeno stands very still, enjoying the warmth of Renjun’s hand against the chill of the refrigerator. “Sounds perfect.” 

“We can order pizza or something,” Renjun continues, “I can take my enzymes so I can eat human food, and we can see where it goes from there?” 

He sounds hopeful. 

“Deal,” Jeno says. 

Normally, with someone like Jaemin, he’d offer a brofist or a handshake or something completely platonic. But Jeno has an honest to God crush on Renjun, and he kinda wants to hint at it. Just a subtle hint. Nothing too drastic.

Resting his hand on Renjun’s neck, feeling the pulse fluttering under his palm, that’s subtle, right? 

“You’re too much,” Renjun says quietly. 

“And you’re too cute,” Jeno replies. 

Subtle. 

Totally subtle. 

Renjun, visibly flustered, pulls away. Jeno thinks he may have been a bit _too_ obvious, but Renjun crash tackles him into a hug and maybe, he thinks, it was worth it. 

“You’re cuter,” he whispers, entire body pressed against Jeno’s, warm and soft. 

“How about we be cute together?” Jeno replies. 

Renjun hugs him tighter, refusing to let go. 

It’s awkward when one of their co-workers interrupts the moment, but also, it’s totally worth it.

\------

It’s not until the following day that Jeno realises his mistake.

“Bro,” he says, poking Jaemin with his pen. “I think I fucked up.”

“Bro,” Jaemin groans, taking a break from his notes and taking a sip from the lukewarm coffee he’s probably only just remembered. “How’d you manage that, bro?” 

“Bro,” Jeno says quietly, “I don’t think vampires are supposed to have heartbeats.” 

“Bro, are you telling me you got close enough to your man to feel that?” 

“Bro, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Bro.” 

“ _Bro_.” 

“So like, congrats and shit,” Jaemin says after he’s downed some more coffee. “But aren’t you like, all hot for vampires now?” 

“Only because I thought Renjun was one?” Jeno croaks, resting his head on his anatomy textbook. 

“That’s disgusting, but I feel you,” Jaemin sighs, “so, he’s just a dude with allergies?” 

“A cute dude with allergies,” Jeno corrects, “and I might have a date with him?” 

“You gonna do the smooch?” 

“Hopefully?” Jeno buries himself further into his textbook. “I wanna do the smooch.”

“And are you more or less excited about the smooching, now that you think he’s human?” 

“The same amount of excitement, honestly.”

“Maybe,” Jaemin starts, pulling Jeno’s abandoned coffee towards himself and taking a sip. “You should talk things out with him, first?” 

“Solid plan,” Jeno is getting drool on his very expensive textbook. “Thanks, bro.”

“No problem, bro.”

\------

Renjun’s housemate is also (!) on a date (!!) for the evening, so they have the entire house to themselves for the movie night. Renjun orders pizza, pops his pills and snuggles close to Jeno on the couch. 

Jeno, of course, is halfway to a panic attack because there is a Very Cute Boy cuddling his arm, and said Very Cute Boy wa a Very Potential Vampire not forty eight hours prior. 

“I need to ask you some strange questions,” Jeno says. He’s picking the entirely wrong moment for it all; Spiderman makes his big, dramatic entrance to the scene in Civil War and Renjun is understandably captivated. 

But he seems to understand the seriousness in Jeno’s tone, so he pauses the movie, untangles himself and motions for Jeno to continue. 

“Why do you never go out in the sun?” Jeno starts off small, hoping that Renjun is smart enough to see through his questioning. 

“My mother is paranoid about skin cancer,” he replies, “it’s rubbed off on me.” 

“I saw you with blood bags at uni,” Jeno continues, “and you licked it off your hand.” 

Renjun yelps, embarrassed. “You saw that?” he exclaims, “it must have looked so weird, I’m sorry.” 

It turns out that Renjun is studying to be a Phlebotomist, a specialist who takes blood from patients for either testing or donation purposes. The bags he’s often seen with contain fake blood, made from chocolate syrup and food dye. 

He’s not allowed near actual patients, not just yet. 

“It’s tasty,” Renjun mumbles in a small voice. “I shouldn’t drink it but it’s nice, sometimes.” 

“You’re weird,” Jeno laughs, “but I like weird.” 

“I like that you like weird,” Renjun replies softly. “Any other questions?”

Here it goes. The big one. The question of the hour. 

“You’re completely, one hundred percent, totally not a vampire?” Jeno asks, finally. “Are you?” 

Renjun laughs. “No,” he wheezes, “no, I’m not.”

“So I can date you and not be worried about a future where I’m old and you’re still young?” Jeno asks, hopefully. 

“I mean,” Renjun starts, “it’s a bit early to be thinking about growing old together---”

“---it’s hypothetical.” 

“But yes,” Renjun laughs again, “we could, _potentially_ grow old together.” 

“Well, that’s a relief,” Jeno sighs, “in the meantime, we could, like, make out or something?” 

“Or something.” 

Renjun is a really good kisser, Jeno finds out. 

So good that he’d like to keep kissing him for a really long time.

Maybe even the rest of their lives.

\------

“I can’t believe you thought I was one of these things,” Renjun complains, throwing popcorn at the laptop screen. The kernel bounces off Edward Cullen’s sparkling form, falling to the floor. 

“Hey now,” Jeno goes in for a kiss, feints, steals some of Renjun’s popcorn instead. “I thought you were a Dracula-style vampire.” 

“You’re so dumb.” 

“You like my dumb.” 

“Your dumb is a little hot, honestly.” 

Movie forgotten in the background, Jeno finds himself with a lapful of boyfriend. 

One who isn’t necessarily a vampire, but he likes going for the neck, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> The word "phlebotomist" amuses me. 
> 
> Tell me what words amuse you on [twitter](https://twitter.com/artikuno)


End file.
